I refuse to accept other people’s ideas of happiness for me. As if there’s a “one size fits all” standard for happiness.
— Kanye West
— Kanye West
Cruisin’ | D’Angelo
We’re going to fly away.
Glad you’re going my way
I love it when we’re cruisin’ together..
— Stephanie Tiffany
Anonymous said: What is your say on “trust issues”, Epecially if one has been cheated on in the past. How do you open your heart again to a new love when you’re heart is just afraid of getting hurt. I understand taking risks but you just don’t look at love the Same again. How do I cope with my trust issues with my present man? When he doesn’t deserve me acting this way since he hasn’t done wrong. You’re an amazing writer BTW! And reading your blogs eases some of my troubles. Your words of wisdom keep me sane.
Trust is the biggest part of relationships. It intertwines with every part of a relationship ― comfort, reliability, honesty. I can’t really tell you what to say or do because opening yourself up to become vulnerable to love again is something you have to do on your own. Being in a relationship, whether you’ve been cheated on or not, is a risky choice you have to make. You have to be willing to invest your time and efforts on someone. To be honest, I became a better person to be in a relationship with after I got cheated on. I guess it was because I knew what I would stand for and what I will not put up with in a relationship. It’s all about experiences. I’m not going to lie to you.. it took me a long time to open up and trust my next boyfriend. It was definitely a difficult stage to get through, but I was very blessed because he was a very patient and understanding guy. My only piece of advice for you is to just go with your gut feeling. If you feel as if your “present man” is worth it and he’s treating you well, you shouldn’t let him pay for someone else’s mistake. You have to cross that bridge and leave it in the past. If you let the past consume your present, it’ll ruin your potential future. Always remember that everything is a lesson learned. And thank you very much for the kind words :) I’m glad I can somehow help without even knowing it! I truly appreciate it.. and I do hope this response helps.
I can never be that person. The person who has to hide the worst parts of themselves from other people. I’ve learned many things over the years, but the one thing that will surely stay with me forever is that in order to be loved by other people, you must love yourself fully. Be comfortable with yourself. Even if there are things you dislike about yourself, you must love it. You have to own it. It’s what makes you, well.. you.
Anyone can seem absolutely perfect from the outskirts point of view, but it really is just a facade. A front, if you may. This is what they want you to perceive them as. This is what they want to be known for. In no case does a person want you to see the worst parts of them. To see someone fully for who they really are is a vulnerability, and this game of charades is merely their wall. I commend the people who can do this for long periods of time because I really don’t have the patience nor the time to try and cover my tracks, or act a certain way, or play these kind of games. I’m not perfect.. and God, am I thankful for that. I’m more than thankful that I can accept that. Even more so, I’m grateful for the people that accept that about me.
See, I find it amusing that some people think that I am the most closed up person in the world, in the sense that I refuse to let people in because I don’t want to get hurt. But in reality, I’m probably one of the most vulnerable people anyone will ever know. I let people see me exactly the way I am.. words from my mind, actions from my heart, scars from my past, my ego, my pride, my reservations, my wild antics, my insecurities, my laughs, my cries, the person who I am now, and the person who I am trying to be. I can’t cover up these things about myself. And to be honest, I really don’t want to. I shouldn’t have to change the way I talk, the way I act, or the way I think just to satisfy someone else’s perception of me. Personally, I think it’s a waste of my time and someone else’s time to try and be someone I’m not. It’s tiring and I really don’t have that kind of energy to waste. I truly believe that being vulnerable in this sense is a great thing because it really shows you the people who deserves to be in your life and who you need to weed out.
I’m not perfect, and I probably never will be.. even if I tried. But I am glad that I have the people who love and accept me perfectly for me. Flaws and all.
an-dre-yahh said: I’ve been searching and searching for that one blog to completely move me and to be honest, I accidentally stumbled upon yours and ever since then, your posts have tremendously helped me. It’s almost a relieving feeling to know that even the strongest woman has her breakdowns once in awhile. I may not know you on a personal level, but your posts have enlighten me hope that when things do get rough, I can always overcome and rise again. Thank you for having such a beautiful mind.
Wow.. I honestly almost shed a tear because this is by far the sweetest message I’ve ever received about my blog. I want to say thank you so much for this! I honestly don’t even think ‘thank you’ is sufficient, but please know that I truly appreciate it. It’s been more than enlightening for me to find out that there are people out here in the world that read my blog on the daily and can find solace within my posts. It’s funny because I started blogging to find solace within myself.. it’s been a great bonus to have readers who can relate. So again, thank you, girl.. thank YOU.
If someone were to have told me two-ish months ago that my life would be completely amazing, I would have slapped them two ways across for attempting to lie to me. But honestly, I have never felt so blessed as I do right now.. at this point in my life. Walk by faith. That’s what they said.. and I did just that. Now, I want to take this time to get something off my chest..
Thank you. Thank you for the tears. Thank you for the stress. Thank you for the worries. Thank you for walking out. Thank you for being the complete opposite of what you said you’d be. Thank you for breaking me down. Thank you for putting me at my lowest. Thank you for everything.
Because now I can be thankful for everything I’ve worked hard to get and everything I am. Thank you for making me so appreciative of the fact that I am very loved by the people in my life. Thank you for making me understand that life is confusing, but I really do have to just roll with the punches. Thank you for helping me understand that what my life is and what it will be is all up to me. Thank you for showing me that there really is sunshine after a rainstorm. And thank you for making me love the life I have been blessed with even after all that I have been through. Thank you.
A bigger thank you to everyone who is a part of my life. You’ve all made me much stronger, much wiser and much more capable of overcoming greater obstacles. Thank you for understanding my tears and my worries. Thank you for being my support system without even knowing it. Thank you for being there… and here, right now. All I can really say is.. thank you.. because I love sharing my joys with the people who actually deserve to be a part of it.
the happiest girl in the world.
She knows deep down inside her tough, can’t-break-through-my-walls exterior that even if she makes fun of the corny love crap on a regular basis.. she’s a sucker for that lovey dovey shit, too. Somewhere deep down inside she knows she deserves it. She’ll just never admit it.
She deserves the dinner for two. The kisses on the forehead. The good mornings text messages. The good night phone calls. The hey-it’s-been-a-minute-girl-i-miss-you. The late night talks. The afternoon walks. The odd saturday night in. The out of the blue meaningful conversations. The need-to-pee hilarious conversations. The moment you hold her hand out of nowhere and she feels the tingle of your touch from your palm to her spine.. yeah, that. because, you know, she deserves it.
And you know what really sucks? She’s stuck with that guy. The guy who doesn’t want to be too nice because he’s been there and done that, and in all honesty, it never paid off to be the nice guy. So instead, he’s THIS guy. The guy who’s cool with just being her 5-9 after her 9-5 because, you know, four hours is all he really needs with her. The guy who would rather see her after dinner time because he already has plans… all. the. time. The guy who doesn’t show an ounce of romance because to him that’s too much of a commitment. It’s too much of a commitment to open the door, to ask her to go to dinner, to call, to text. It’s all just too much.
And she can’t blame him. Not even a little bit. But it sucks.. it really does. Because in time, she realized all the things she already knew, but didn’t want to acknowledge. He IS that guy and she IS that girl. And, even if she tries to put the two and two together.. he’ll still never openly appreciate her worth. As time went on, this woman realized that she doesn’t need to be loved up, but she sure as hell knows that she deserves someone who’s at the least willing to entertain the idea.